So, on 15 May 2010 it was a year since our Melanie left us. We had a get-together at my mother’s house, where Mel had spent her last days. It was a very nice day, but I didn’t speak very well. I suppose that is understandable, given the situation.
Some of the speaking was fine. I spoke about how while the pain may be less over time, I am very pleased to know that the love is no less. It is just as it always was. And while the memories of the daily routines will become vague over time, her presence is no less bright for me.
I did two things that were significant for me. I read from the spiritual teachings that have held and comforted me through all of this:
“This, therefore, is the Truth. As from fire well lighted, fiery sparks flow off in
all directions by the thousand, so do all beings come out from the ever
Immutable, and are resolved also into the same.”
“The wise grieve not, having seen the unbodied Self pervading all mortal forms,
ever great, all –embracing.”
“Those are the enlightened great souls of this world who happen to be firmly
fixed in eternal unborn Calmness. The world can not even dream of it.”
“To those who have acquired that sense of consciousness of the illusion of death,
these frightful emotions of grief and terror at death have faded away. To them,
while they naturally feel the sorrow of temporary separation and the loss of
companionship, the loved one is seen to have simply passed on to another phase
of life, and nothing has been lost – nothing has perished.”
I played the videos I had made of her. I did this because a picture speaks a million words, and I thought that these videos effortlessly described her and the woman that she was. What I didn’t do, was speak myself about how she was, and that is probably what is fitting for her memorial.
What an amazing woman that she was. One of the most frequent comments that people make to me, is that they have never met anyone so full of life as what Mel was. It was pouring out of her. Even though she had been through some very difficult experiences in her life, she had this joyful appreciation of life that pervaded everything that she did and was the backbone of her character. When I met her, she was a tornado that came into my life, bright and passionate and uncompromising. In our time together, we grew together and as people at an astonishing rate. Look how natural and assured and confident she is as a young woman in the picture below, snapped in my garage on our way to a function. She had really found herself.
Her passing has made a huge impact on the lives of all who knew her. I can see this from the way that people speak to me, and from the traffic I get on the website. Everyone is touched by her life and her passing, and none more so than me.
In a way, I have gotten to know her even better since she left. Hearing all the old stories, seeing old pictures, and mostly just reflecting on how she was, and how we were. And how special she was, and how special we were.
I had not been keen on getting involved deeply in relationships, but with Mel I realised that apart from her being physically gorgeous and great company, there was something else. There was pure spirit in her that was brightly alive and full of love and determination to live this life as best she could. I realised that if these spirits got together, our differences would be set aside and we would truly join. And wow, that is just what happened. Those who knew us, knew how exceptionally close we were, every step of the way.
I will always hurt that we could not explore to the end, the potential of what we had started. But I will always take solace in knowing that we joined completely, to the deepest level. There are small things that niggled me for a while, where I wished I could have done better – averting an argument, coming home earlier, not working a weekend, taking her more often on a romantic date, giving her more time when it turned out to be so short. Yet I know that in the important things, I was there. She knew she was never alone, she had complete support, and I walked her path with her right until the last steps in this life, holding her in my arms as she drew her last breath.
I wish I had time to have given her more, and I knew that she also had so many plans to lavish me with signs of her love. However, I am comforted by the following diary extract that I found in her diary. Before you read it, I should tell you that Mel had a deep passion for ice-cream.
“Living with Jay is like eating ice-cream in Heaven.”
It makes me proud that I could provide her with that kind of experience in our relationship and life together.
God bless you Melimuli, I know that you are causing havoc and laughter wherever you are.
Below are the links to the albums and videos that are up, for those who haven’t seen them yet:
Video Montage of Mel’s Life: CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO OF MELANIE HENNING
Video Clip in the Trees: RIGHT CLICK HERE AND “SAVE TARGET” TO WATCH VIDEO
Photos of Mel’s Life: Click for album of Mel
Photos of Wedding: Click for our wedding
Photos of Honeymoon: Click for our honeymoon
Speech at Memorial Service: Speech
Card at Memorial Service: Card
Poem of her Loss: Poem – Broken