I went away this weekend, camped out in the mountains and did yoga out in the grassy field under the starry night sky. it was a deep experience and reminded me again how important it is for me to do yoga, and that i should focus more on it, especially in these times. it really is exactly what i need, it centres and calms and strengthens me. but more importantly, it helps me focus on what i should be doing, how i should be, and helps me to extract and develop the finer parts in me, and move away from the grosser parts.
also when meditating after, a lot just fell into place.
i had a vivid insight into the nature of our awareness, our intellect, and that of the nature around us. i had the firmest, deepest understanding i have ever had of what we call “I”, the centre of consciousness that is us. i understood how it comes into this physical world and permeates a physical thing, making it a “being” because it is the intelligence and spark behind it. how it moves on when the physical thing dies, and goes into the pool of consciousness and returns. how the spiral moves upwards.
i understood what it means to evolve, and the yoga teachings became properly clear to me for the first time. this was quite a revelation after more than a decade of study and already being fairly elevated. spiritual growth is not a case of being rewarded for certain practices – such as act well and you become wise or get given spiritual gifts. we are a centre of awareness and intelligence, and evolution or spiritual development is a case of refining the intelligence and becoming more aware. as you become more aware, you become a higher life form. certain practices lift your intelligence and awareness, and certain practices degrade it. all that the yoga teachings are doing, is explaining to us how to lift our state of being to be a more advanced centre.
and this is what a mistake is, when we do something to degrade our awareness. actions that will advance us further, are the right action for us. actions that will bring us down, weigh down our spirits, shutter our minds, are the wrong action. that is how to tell when you are crossing the line.
so now i am exceptionally focussed on that path, by paying attention to every action and word and thought and trying to ensure that it is the best option. then, slowly, what “you” want becomes less important. you, the ego, a collection of experiences and habits and wants and cravings and confusion, might “want” something because it thinks it might bring it happines. but “you”, the soul wanting to unfold and grow, will not want that course of action, but to follow the course that will take it along its path. and every step on the path leads to a higher state of being, a higher form of life.
it puts a lot of things into perspective for me. when you end this life, and review it, you want each soul you encountered to come to you and say “thank you for the role that you played in my life, for supporting my spiritual growth and helping me on my journey”. notice that i did not say “supporting the little things my ego may have wanted”. in that way, you are continuously building good karma.
i was comparing that to other possible reactions, and also got a good handle on exactly why it is bad to take advantage of someone. if someone has a weakness, you stimulate that weakness and effectively encourage it to get your own wants satisfied by that person. you are doing exactly the wrong thing to this person. whoever they are, you should be helping them to outgrow their weakness. think of the damage that you do to their soul, and to yours, by following this path. otherwise, you could look at it and say, hey, each person got what they wanted. on the surface maybe, but not properly.
so this forms a good yardstick by which to measure life.
“om tat sat”
one true existance
ocean of knowledge
bliss absolute